The Nine Circles

Hell Quote of the Day: “Go to heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” – Mark Twain

What the hellen’, Yellen? Our new Fed Chief Janet Yellen held her first press conference last week and what she said spooked investors which made interest rates jump up a full 0.25% point. Her mention of the prime rate being raised in mid-2015 was a Fed no-no, as their statements are purposely left vague for us to figure out (just like every annoying teacher you had growing up). Still, rates are resilient and haven’t done much since. Today’s 30-year fixed remains in the low-to-mid 4s with ARM rates about a point lower.

The Raymond Babbitt of Wheel of Fortune.

And speaking of game shows… Happy 50th birthday to the show for which I only know about 5% of the answers.

Wuss’up This Week: A whole lotta reports about jobs. Today we have ADP’s Employment Report, tomorrow Weekly Jobless Claims, and Friday’s biggie, the Employment Report for March, where it’s expected that payrolls increased by 185k. Any number higher or lower than this can move rates lower or higher.

Very cool list of 86 movie facts you did not know.

This is NOT an April Fool’s joke: For any purchase or refinance loan over $240k I will waive all lender fees – a $995 savings! Please pass this blog onto any family, friends, coworkers, or co-fake workers who can use a break like thi

Next train not arriving for another five minutes? Five minutes is all it takes to give me some feedback using this survey, and earn a chance to win a $100 gift card.

Special thanks this week to Angelo in Mundelein for his complimentary review on my Yelp page! In addition to my thanks, he’ll receive a $25 gift card. Post if you’ve enjoyed working with me, and I’ll send you one as well.

Hell Quote of the Day 2: “If I died and went straight to hell it would probably take me 2 or 3 weeks before I realized I wasn’t at work anymore.” – @swedishcanary

Timeout for Trivia: Congrats to those of you last week who guessed Bruce “Whatchutalkin’bout” Willis. Want to be entered into a drawing to win aspongeworthy magnet? Simply email me the answer to this week’s “Who Am I?” question. Good luck: “My song hit #1 on this day in 1999. This song made me the oldest person to have a number one hit, and also the record for a solo artist with the longest span of time between two number one hits (1974 was the last one), do you believe that? My last name is Sarkisian but my fans, Jack McFarland, celebrity impersonators, my son and previous daughter know me by my first name.”

If you want to learn more about the mortgage market or are just looking for a laugh, you can find both at the Hey Mortgage Fans Facebook page. Like the page and get new posts three times a week!

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